Keep The Conversation Going
January 6, 2010 by Matt Fuller
Online dating presents us with the golden opportunity to chat to others before meeting in real life which is an ideal way to meet as opposed to physically meeting as complete strangers and allows us to gauge compatibility based on more than just chemistry.
Online dating sites can make us think we’re safe in assuming that once we go on the first ‘real’ date, conversation will flow – but not always.
Acting shy on a first date is one of the hurdles we need to overcome to have first date success. Chatting online gives us a huge advantage for you to be able to prepare your offline conversation by taking notes based on your online chats.
Conventionally, many first dates take place at a coffee shop, but next time you arrange a date, think outside the square a little. Try a more casual and engaging environment like ten pin bowling or putt putt golf. Go for a bush walk perhaps and stop for lunch in the National Park, try something more interesting than the standard first date coffee shop.
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If you are the kind of person who is a little shy, be sure to select an environment where you can easily talk about the surroundings and atmosphere.
The art of conversing is a two-way street. If you see your date has stalled in the chatting game, then it’s time to take over the driving. Ask them questions about themselves and be interested in the answers. Use what you already know about them from when you first met in the singles chat room.
We suggest to always be yourself on a first date. The more relaxed you are the more approachable you become. And simply because you run out of things to chat about, doesn’t mean the date is a dud. Let things move on a bit, take the lead and suggest going for a walk, or maybe a drive; just change the scenery somehow to re-energize the conversation with a new environment.
It’s always wise to restrain yourself from being too opinionated about touchy subjects such as religion or race issues. Show your date your easy going and open minded self before you blast them with your pent up views about what’s wrong with the world.
Be sure not to hog the conversation. A good way to further help achieve this is to make it easy on your date to participate in the conversation by asking more questions about the topic you are already engaged in. Avoid straight out yes – no answers at all cost. Remember if your date goes to yes or no ask them why. Why do you think that, or why did you say that, I’m curious.
Bonny Albo, a writer who has focused on online dating matters, sums up the art of conversation with these words: “Concentrate on adopting your own experiences and interweaving them in with the other individuals answers. By doing so you will be formulating a connection with the individual, producing hooks of information with which to initiate a conversation at a future moment.
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